Sponge bath it is.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
