Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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