apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
