Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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