drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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