she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
