i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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