Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
