just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
