did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
did you just send me my own nude
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
