just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
