She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You ate ashes out of my bong
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
