Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
no you cant smoke seaweed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
