Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
