break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
