at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
