Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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