I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
