I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
