omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
