Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
