Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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