biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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