So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
third nipple confirmed
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
