I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
