where am i from again
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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