he thought i was a dude.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
