just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize
