i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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