I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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