I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
