someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
