yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
