Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
