the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the condom got lost in my hair
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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