when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
