No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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