Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
