she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
