And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
