I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
