Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
