If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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