12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
