She said her name was "party"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
