did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
