Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
