Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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