Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
