What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
