R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
