Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
