I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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