how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
