tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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