how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
