Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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