You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
