I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
