Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Holy sore nipples Batman
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
